The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will ever have.
Yet it's often the one that gets the least of our attention. We don't always cheer ourselves on and we don't listen to what our thoughts, feelings and emotions are telling us. We brush them aside, and only listen to the old stories and limiting talk of our thoughts, and it's these negative thoughts that we live our lives by. Or we use them as a stick to beat ourselves with.
We also allow others to tell us how our story should look.
And all of these things hold us back from trusting ourselves. They hold us back because we go round the same story loop that stops us from doing the things that we want to do. These stories affect our view of ourselves. Because we cannot move forward and do the things that we want to do if we carry on aligning where we are now with what has gone before. And it has a knock on effect on the relationship we have with ourselves.
When we do the work on ourselves, everything else follows. Otherwise we drag everything around with us wherever we go - across the different areas of our lives.
This includes the way we talk to ourselves. Our self talk can be our harshest critic. It’s also the hardest thing to move away from because it’s the voice that we are used to listening to.
And we may find :
that it doesn't matter what we do, we keep getting the same result
that the same things keep happening to us in some relationships
that we have reverted to serving others and putting ourselves last again
that we are feeling all out of whack and our resilience isn't as hardy as it was, and
that we try to brush these thoughts under the carpet
And then we :
start to criticise ourselves for feeling the way we do which in turn stops us from doing the things that make our heart sing
So if any of this sounds like you, then it may just be time to start working on your relationship with yourself.
You may have seen through my Red Carpet series, that I am an advocate for being honest with ourselves and embracing all of our thoughts, feelings and emotions. Thoughts, feelings and emotions are just that. And they are all worthy of our attention. Once we remove the negative and positive labels, and start to look at our thoughts through a neutral lens, we are able to accept them for what they are. And that is where change takes place.
As a Coach, I am very good at getting to the root of the things that keeps us stuck. I've done the work on myself too and I know what it looks like. I also know that once we start to do the work, there are far more empowering alternatives. And it's these alternatives, and changing the way that we think, that gets us moving away from what we don't want. And this all happens when we choose ourselves.
So perhaps it's time for you to dedicate some of your lovely goodness to yourself. Just you. And be really honest with yourself about what you want and need.
Accepting yourself for who you are and loving that person as hard as you love others is the kindest thing that you can do for you each and every day.
And if this resonates and you feel that coaching may be helpful, you can book a call with me to find out how I can support you.
My name is Nicky Kentisbeer and I am a Mindset & Confidence Coach. I support women to work on their mindset and develop the confidence that they need to move beyond the challenges that are keeping them stuck, towards a place that they would much rather be. I do this based on the belief that we have within us the most incredible resources and capabilities to find our own solutions - irrespective of our background or starting point. There is no barrier to entry.
Maybe you have a feeling of being stuck, going round in circles or living the same day over and over? Or, are you finding that the way you approach problems and challenges always gives you the same result? And it’s not the one that you want. The feeling of being stuck is incredibly disempowering because it brings about feelings of indecision, procrastination, overthinking and fear which in turn can affect our self-belief and confidence. And if you stop to think about it, you may find that you fear success as much as you do failure. Sometimes staying stuck may feel like a safer place to be when the alternative means change and stepping outside of your comfort zone? There is nothing unusual here as we do all have a tendency to stand in our own way at times. This may happen because you have lost sight of how resourceful you are. You may also allow old beliefs and stories to inform your response to what is going on for you currently. Yet, much of this narrative is historical and it is no longer relevant to your life now and the choices that you make. As your coach, I can support you to understand and address the things that may be holding you back from achieving your goals. Through 1-to-1 coaching sessions, we will explore what it is that you want and the steps that you need to take to get started. I will ask lots of questions! Questions that you may not have asked of yourself. It is through these questions that I invite you to look at things in different ways, from a different perspective and access your own solutions accordingly. I will invite you to look at old beliefs and the stories that you may be telling yourself about your abilities. I do not teach nor tell you how things should be done. And there is no judgement. If this resonates with you, I invite you to book a free 30-minute call with me to discuss whether coaching would be the right approach for you to start turning your ideas and aspirations into action.