Sorry! But it isn’t.
You know that though, don't you?
If you are a business owner or start-up, your mind is full of your business. And you know what I mean by full, don’t you?
Or perhaps you are working towards making a personal change in your life and that feels pretty huge too, doesn’t it?
And all of this takes a lot of your brain power. There's excitement, ideas, challenges and all manner of things in your head. In fact, it can feel as though your brain might burst with possibility.
What you need right now is focus and razor-sharp thinking. There’s a lot to do.
Yet somehow, at these times, when we are overwhelmed by all that we have to do, we commit to taking on the one extra burden that is sure to bring us to our knees.
We worry about what other people think!
And because we are really clever, we guess what they might be thinking too!
Like ‘whether I’m good enough’ or ‘what if people aren’t interested in what I have to say?’ or ‘supposing people don’t like my product’.
If you are sharing news of your products or services with others, these thoughts will surely rear their head. And there is no shame in voicing the thoughts because everyone has them.
When you are doing something new or different - perhaps for the first time, the tendency to worry about what others may think does comes up. It comes up in our personal lives too.
People you know are going to see what you are doing - friends, relatives, colleagues, ex-colleagues, other business owners and people that you don't even know. And it can feel scary and a bit weird.
But at some point, you do have to say ‘this is me’ and this can be the bit that unnerves you. And that may be because you wouldn’t normally put yourself out there in this way, but you are running a business now and its part of your marketing.
If you find that this worrying is really holding you back, it’s worth making sure that you have really specific goals in place so that you can focus hard on what you need and want to be doing. This will help you to be completely in tune with what you are trying to achieve. For you and your business. Otherwise you will start to censor what you are putting out and you lose the impact of what you are trying to convey. You will find that you don’t go all in for fear of what people may think.
The danger of this is that potential clients and customers may get a diluted version of your product or service because you’ve ‘played it down’.
I know it’s a process that we have to work through. It’s part of the journey. But we do have to wiggle ourselves through it. And your worry loves your company and for as long as you keep going back, it will have you.
What you need right now is to be apologetically and beautifully you because that is the bit that everyone wants. It's as simple as that.
You only have to think about the people that you gravitate towards to realise how true that is.
And you will have to keep telling yourself this over and over because it doesn't just work on the first go. It takes practice.
You will compare, and try and mould yourself to what you think people want to see but over time you will realise that it's hard work and you will also get fed up with trying.
Remember the goals and what you are trying to achieve. For you and your ideal client or outcome.
You will start to recognise the places where you are stuck. These are one-way streets and trust me you will take a different turning when you are ready.
The biggest truth bomb that will get you moving is recognising that all of this over-filtering wastes time. Lots of it. And your time is a precious commodity. It’s also a huge drain on your creativity and confidence too.
Let’s not pretend that we don’t all get these feelings from time to time. Of course, we do. And some of them take a little longer to work through because we’ve dragged them around for such a long time that they are like an extra limb. Part of our being. That’s OK. We know they are there and they have our attention.
But the more you flex the muscle, the easier it gets. If something doesn't work no problem. You can tweak it or change it. That's all part of the learning. And it doesn't matter. It's your business. You're the boss!
Don’t let these worries rain on the parade of everything that you have worked so hard to achieve.
I work with many women to support them through some of the things that hold them back in their small business and personal development journey, so you are certainly not alone.
If any of this resonates with you and you could use a sounding board, or if you feel that coaching may be helpful, you can always book a call with me to run through some options.
My name is Nicky Kentisbeer and I am a Mindset & Confidence Coach.
I support women like you to work on your mindset and develop the confidence that you need to move beyond the challenges that are keeping you stuck, towards a place that you would much rather be.
I do this based on the belief that you have within you the most incredible resources and capabilities to find your own solutions - irrespective of your background or starting point. There is no barrier to entry.
Maybe you have a feeling of being stuck, going round in circles or living the same day over and over? Or you are finding that the way you approach problems and challenges always gives you the same result. And it’s not the one that you want.
The feeling of being stuck is incredibly disempowering because it brings about feelings of indecision, procrastination, overthinking and fear which in turn can affect our self-belief and confidence.
And if you stop to think about it, you may find that you fear success as much as you do failure. Sometimes staying stuck may feel like a safer place to be when the alternative means change and stepping outside of your comfort zone? There is nothing unusual here as we do all have a tendency to stand in our own way at times.
This may happen because you have lost sight of how resourceful you are. You may also allow old beliefs and stories to inform your response to what is going on for you currently. Yet, much of this narrative is historical and it is no longer relevant to your life now and the choices that you make.
As your coach, I can support you to understand and address the things that may be holding you back from achieving your goals.
Through 1-to-1 coaching sessions, we will explore what it is that you want and the steps that you need to take to get started. I will ask lots of questions! Questions that you may not have asked of yourself. It is through these questions that I invite you to look at things in different ways, from a different perspective and access your own solutions accordingly. I will invite you to look at old beliefs and the stories that you may be telling yourself about your abilities.
I do not teach nor tell you how things should be done. And there is no judgement. If this resonates with you, I invite you to book a free 30-minute call with me to discuss whether coaching would be the right approach for you to start turning your ideas and aspirations into action.