There’s a lot of guilt around, isn’t there.
Guilt and shaming.
Guilt for not doing enough.
Guilt for going out.
Guilt for staying in.
Guilt for feeling OK.
And guilt for feeling rubbish.
You name it, there’s a bit of guilt attached to it.
Guilt for finding it hard.
Guilt for having a moan.
Guilt for enjoying the time with your family.
Guilt for doing things you love.
Guilt for realising that this way of life suits you far better.
Guilt that your new way of life is at someone else’s expense.
And so, it goes on.
What is going on right now is providing the optimum conditions for feelings of guilt to breed.
And it is being fed daily.
But do bear in mind that much of this is opinion.
Because if you let it, guilt will creep into every single thing you do.
It will engulf you.
And it will make you do things that you wouldn’t normally do. Because everything and everyone is telling you that you should.
I talked about about ‘should’ in my recent post we are all made of should. You may find this helpful too.
Coupled with that, there is most likely a lot of old stuff lurking away inside you that you may have been carrying around for a while.
And all of the old stuff is coming out for an airing too. Oh yes! It’s all being triggered into action.
So, what to do about the guilt?
Acknowledge that it’s there. It’s an emotion – we all have them. They are normal. You can’t just brush them under the carpet.
When you bring a powerful feeling into your awareness, it will automatically take away some of its power over you.
Ask yourself ‘what do I want to feel instead of guilt?’
The more you focus on the pain of what you don’t want, the longer it will trouble you. In coaching, we always go forward with what we do want. It makes a huge difference.
Be honest with yourself about how you feel.
Talk about it if you can.
Or write it down. You may find that great insight comes from journalling.
But more importantly, remind yourself that what you are doing is enough. In fact, it’s not just ‘enough’. It is more than plenty.
And you are doing the best that you can.
My name is Nicky Kentisbeer and I am a Mindset & Confidence Coach.
I support women like you to work on your mindset and develop the confidence that you need to move beyond the challenges that are keeping you stuck, towards a place that you would much rather be.
I do this based on the belief that you have within you the most incredible resources and capabilities to find your own solutions - irrespective of your background or starting point. There is no barrier to entry.
Maybe you have a feeling of being stuck, going round in circles or living the same day over and over? Or you are finding that the way you approach problems and challenges always gives you the same result. And it’s not the one that you want.
The feeling of being stuck is incredibly disempowering because it brings about feelings of indecision, procrastination, overthinking and fear which in turn can affect our self-belief and confidence.
And if you stop to think about it, you may find that you fear success as much as you do failure. Sometimes staying stuck may feel like a safer place to be when the alternative means change and stepping outside of your comfort zone? There is nothing unusual here as we do all have a tendency to stand in our own way at times.
This may happen because you have lost sight of how resourceful you are. You may also allow old beliefs and stories to inform your response to what is going on for you currently. Yet, much of this narrative is historical and it is no longer relevant to your life now and the choices that you make.
As your coach, I can support you to understand and address the things that may be holding you back from achieving your goals.
Through 1-to-1 coaching sessions, we will explore what it is that you want and the steps that you need to take to get started. I will ask lots of questions! Questions that you may not have asked of yourself. It is through these questions that I invite you to look at things in different ways, from a different perspective and access your own solutions accordingly. I will invite you to look at old beliefs and the stories that you may be telling yourself about your abilities.
I do not teach nor tell you how things should be done. And there is no judgement. If this resonates with you, I invite you to book a free 30-minute call with me to discuss whether coaching would be the right approach for you to start turning your ideas and aspirations into action.