As a coach, you will hear me talk a lot about the importance of our values in our day to day business. But I also talk about them a hell of a lot from a personal perspective too. Because they are inextricably intertwined. Our values are our deep-down measure of what is important to us. They inform our actions, our responses, our choices and decisions. And whether things are for us. Things like honesty, integrity, transparency, honesty, loyalty and reliability are just a small example of some of the things that may be on our list of values.
We are both attracted to and repelled by the values in others too. They can make us bristle up at some things or they may draw us towards people. And when we don’t act in accordance with our values, we can start to feel a bit of off-kilter. Things start to jar. During times of crisis, at a time when lines are being blurred and boundaries crossed, our values can become a little compromised without us realising. When there are are many calls to action to do this, that and the other, we can find ourselves getting caught up in a stampede. We may experience taking a few wrong turns and jumping on someone else’s bandwagon because it feels like the ‘right’ thing to do. While we may naturally look to others during times of doubt, if we aren’t careful, we can end up going down someone else’s path. And it's not for us.
A good indicator of this is that we may in a quiet moment ask ourselves ‘what on earth am I doing?’ It can often be something that you feel both physically and mentally uncomfortable about. You may find that you get a physical feeling of dread somewhere in your body (often the stomach or throat) and you may feel anxiety too. When you feel a temptation to go to extraordinary lengths to keep up with something, the chances are that it is going against how you usually live your days. It can feel like hard work. This is because the action you are taking isn’t congruent with your own values, and in turn, your goals. Put simply, if you are doing something under duress and keeping quiet about it, you are not honouring your own values. A general rule of thumb is that if you wouldn’t do something normally, there is no need to do it now.
When you are operating in line with your core values, life becomes much more fluid and you are able to go about your day to day with ease and simplicity. So, if things are currently feeling a little out of alignment, it may be time to remind yourself of your personal values. If you are not sure what your values are and would like some guidance here, you can always drop me an email and I’d be happy to help you with a short exercise.
You may also find this post helpful read - we are all made of should.some guidance here, you can always drop me an email and I’d be happy to help you with a short exercise. You may also find this post helpful read - What are Limiting Beliefs.
If this post has resonated with you and you feel that you are being held back by some of the thoughts, emotions or feelings that I discuss, I invite you to book a call with me to discuss whether coaching could help you to move forward.
My name is Nicky Kentisbeer and I am a Mindset & Confidence Coach. I support women like you to work on your mindset and develop the confidence that you need to move beyond the challenges that are keeping you stuck, towards a place that you would much rather be. I do this based on the belief that you have within you the most incredible resources and capabilities to find your own solutions - irrespective of your background or starting point. There is no barrier to entry.
Maybe you have a feeling of being stuck, going round in circles or living the same day over and over? Or you are finding that the way you approach problems and challenges always gives you the same result. And it’s not the one that you want. The feeling of being stuck is incredibly disempowering because it brings about feelings of indecision, procrastination, overthinking and fear which in turn can affect our self-belief and confidence. And if you stop to think about it, you may find that you fear success as much as you do failure. Sometimes staying stuck may feel like a safer place to be when the alternative means change and stepping outside of your comfort zone? There is nothing unusual here as we do all have a tendency to stand in our own way at times. This may happen because you have lost sight of how resourceful you are. You may also allow old beliefs and stories to inform your response to what is going on for you currently. Yet, much of this narrative is historical and it is no longer relevant to your life now and the choices that you make. As your coach, I can support you to understand and address the things that may be holding you back from achieving your goals. Through 1-to-1 coaching sessions, we will explore what it is that you want and the steps that you need to take to get started. I will ask lots of questions! Questions that you may not have asked of yourself. It is through these questions that I invite you to look at things in different ways, from a different perspective and access your own solutions accordingly. I will invite you to look at old beliefs and the stories that you may be telling yourself about your abilities. I do not teach nor tell you how things should be done. And there is no judgement. If this resonates with you, I invite you to book a free 30-minute call with me to discuss whether coaching would be the right approach for you to start turning your ideas and aspirations into action.